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I asked at the hotel desk if they could recommend a dance hall. The concierge, a young black guy, told me about a place that was only a 15 to 20 minute walk away. But! He warned, that it gets very, very crowded and the dance floor gets packed like sardines and often people get felt up by strangers whilst dancing. Well that sounded like fun to me but I thought I better leave that bit of information out whilst telling Beth.She was really pleased when I told her we could go dancing that evening. She dressed really sexy, short black mini skirt and white top that was low cut in front. She doesn't wear a bra as her breasts are small but very firm. And of course her favourite red high heeled shoes.The dance hall was pleasant enough, not crowded at all. We had a lovely time dancing and drinking. As the evening wore on, Beth got more and more 'happy' with all the Martinis she was putting away. The place was also filling up and by 10pm it was as packed as the guy had said it would be.We were. Another time I went to a public park and walked into a small wooded area and disrobed. I watched people run and a group of women in an outdoor yoga class while I masturbated and felt sick to my stomach. I don't even know why I did that, it just made me feel like I belonged in the world. But the only way to do that was to be in a place where no one could see me.I could go on I suppose, and describe some other actions from my early to mid-twenties that would make me shudder. But I think the point is made. I had successfully built my emotional wall, but there was a weakness in it, and I wasn't sure how to shore it up.I hit my lowest point with respect to my loss of sexual control and utter alienation from the world just two weeks before my experience dressing down Dan to the delight of my co-workers. I found a guy on craigslist who said he wanted a relationship with a "shemale." He had a photo posted. Not great, but he seemed at least very open about it. I looked at his post for days,.
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